Musings

Consistently Inconsistent


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I’m not really sure why it happens. I get motivated to do something, anything. Sometimes it’s a certain diet, other times it’s a new hobby, like starting a blog! Whatever the hobby (habit?), I get super focused on it for a while. However, that focus fades, but I still have my will and determination. I’ll keep at it, even though I don’t want to anymore, because I don’t want to, yet again, stop another thing. I don’t want to always be known as that guy who drops everything he picks up. It is at the point that my closest loved ones will say, in response to any idea I have, “Are you sure? Or is this like the time you wanted to ____ and then a week later you gave that up?”

Ugh, the words I dread the most! It really is like an affliction. It’s not that I consciously choose to stop doing whatever it is, I literally wake up and go about my day and the new hobby that I’ve just been spending all my time on simply doesn’t pop in my head. Like this blog, for example. I was writing a new post, writing snippets of my memoir, adding new poetry, and just going all out, every day. Then, I just forgot about it. Days went by before I thought, “Oh shit, I haven’t posted in days. I should probably do that.” Then i’ll post, and after another few days, out of my head it goes. But this time, when I remember, I get discouraged like, “What’s the point? I’ll just stop again, nobody even reads it anyway. Now it’s just work. blah”

So, here is my post, weeks later, trying to break the cycle, but cheers! Here’s to whatever comes next, or doesn’t.

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